Emily Dickinson once wrote, "After a great pain, a formal feeling comes." But what about before a great pain? That's where I am. The pain is just to the left of me, giant on its haunches. It will take its time. Knows it will come to me. Must come. If I were my friend who is Yugoslavian, I would be embracing the pain. I would be dissolved, my fists raised, cursing. But I am Norwegian enough to think I can stare the pain down. At least hold its gaze.
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