Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Not Sure How This Goes

Since yesterday, have turned the light off on a number of well-lit fantasies. God, it's dark in here, inside me now. Realized in therapy last night, that this lonely, empty, hollow place has been in me all my cognitive life. Or even before that. Have tried to fill it with relationships, food, compulsive shopping, busyness, even alcohol. None of those worked. So now it's just me and this. Lovely email from my pal, David, today: It occurs to me that, like hunger, loneliness is the pain that drives us onward to connect with others. In that respect, it’s healthy, albeit, painful as hell.

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